I struggled today with what I would share with you, but I came across this statement that I wrote about a year ago -
Art is a continuous experiment. It is ability for me to convey my thoughts and feelings from my head, through my heart to my hands. The distortion between my head and hands is God's work showing up in my creations. Too often, artists can become frustrated by this and quickly decide they aren't talented. By reframing this, they can move forward with their work.
You don't have to be an artist to feel like this. Sometimes things just do not turn out like we thought they would, and it can be frustrating. In some cases, it can feel like a complete failure. But, if we take a moment and think about the distortion between what we wanted and what happened, can we see that as God's work? Is it possible that the interference that we experience is actually something good for us?
I have been thinking a lot about a failed business that I had. I sold it in 2019 but it feels like a breakup from a toxic relationship. You know, even though you leave the relationship, the relationship doesn't leave you until you've done the work to free yourself from it. I've been holding on to this failure a bit too much. And, I know I'm holding on to it because it's getting in the way of me doing some important things -- procrastination, resistance...whatever you want to call it, I'm there.
This all came up for me because I just did something that I've been putting off for a long time thinking it would be more difficult than it actually was. Guess what, it wasn't that hard and now it's off my list. I hope to make more progress now that I've worked through one hurdle and move on to a few other things that have been on a revolving list of things that I'm not getting to.
As I think back on how things haven't turned out for me as I had planned or hoped, I'm working on reframing it to see if there are hidden gifts waiting for me to see them. This is all about mindset and working on ways to identify your feelings. If you read my last blog, I mentioned my Life Transformation Model that starts with a feeling (e.g., frustration), then you have a thought (e.g, I wonder why....) and finally you have the words (e.g., I'm not doing.....) to describe it. Once you have those three things identified, you can move into the work of transformation. Sometimes this is the hardest part of the process...just getting to the words. But once you have the language for what's going on, it's easier to address the issue and put a plan in place to address it.
If you're thinking about how to reframe something that you're struggling with, you can ask yourself these questions. How is this big enough to matter? What is coming up for you? What will you do next? Is there something I'm missing in the bigger picture here?
While I don't wish that you feel pain, I do hope you know that you're not alone. Martha Beck once said, 'If you're hoping to live a life without pain, you came to the wrong planet.' Painful things are often where we learn the most, so embrace the work that's not what you hoped for and see if you can find God's hand in it.
Until next time -- expand, grow and bloom!!